Their Daddy's Mouth

Alright.

I'm doing it.

I'm blogging about being pregnant.

Well actually,

I'm going to talk about 

Tyler and my pregnancy.

While each child and pregnancy is special,

there has to be something extra lovely

about a man & woman

going through this process together 

for the first time...

...because as much as I want to remember the feeling of my babies kicking,

the way I felt when I first found out I was pregnant

or the way they bounce around on the sonogram screen,

there is no way in heck I want to forget these gems

that have come out of my husband's mouth.

What I saw when I walked out to the car after we found out we were having twins.

When I showed him my pregnancy test,

I said "Look! Two lines!"

To which he replied...

"Woah. What does that mean??"

To which I laughed:

"Just that I'm pregnant... 

not that there are two babies."

{That joke was on me.}

_________________

While waiting at the Doctor's office:

Lauren: Hey babe, look.

Remind me to tell our midwife that we want a home birth.

{Sarcastically points to flyer on wall about elective home births.}

Tyler: What? We can't do a home birth...

Lauren: Well, duh. I know...

but why do you say that?

Tyler: Because our bath tub isn't big enough 

for both of us and the nurse to fit in it at the same time.

Lauren: What?
 Oh babe, no.

No, that's not what happens.

It's not always in the bath tub.

Tyler: Huh? Where is it?

Lauren: It's like, on the bed, babe.

Tyler: You do what?

{Gags.}

Do they make trashbags that big?

_______________

You know babe, 

now that your stomach is so big

it makes your butt look smaller.

________________

While looking through racks of baby clothes,

I held up two outfits 

and suggested them for their coming home outfits.

Tyler looked at me like I was an alien

and asked why we needed to buy outfits 

to bring them home from the hospital.

I replied that we would have to bring them home in something.

To which he just rolled his eyes and said: 

Why can't we just wrap them up in blankets over their diapers?

______________

So there we have it.

Straight from the mouth of man 

who has given me two offspring...

and I can only hope they are just like him.