Their Daddy's Mouth (Volume 2)

In efforts to compliment

the other post I had wrote earlier

about the *amazing* things

 that have come out 

of my husband's mouth

during my (our?) pregnancy,

I felt it would be a shame 

 not to immortalize 

the conversation that transpired

on our first visit to the labor ward

a few weeks back 

when I was getting all "Sybill"

with some nasty pre-eclampsia.

________________

SCENE OPENS:

Tyler & Lauren sit in chairs

in the assessment room of the hospital's "labour ward"
where women first go

upon their arrival to the labor ward.

Doctors & midwives working in this room

determine if you can be treated there,

if you are in false labor,

or, if you are indeed in actual labor-

which then upgrades you into a private room 

where you will have your baby.

In fact,

I took this picture of part of it

while having my blood pressure checked yesterday:

The assessment room is a fairly large room

with lots of curtains creating small areas for evaluation...

and close proximity offering a pretty low level of privacy.

As we sit there and wait,

a woman tucked back somewhere amidst the abyss of curtains

is having some really, really strong contractions

and offering the rest of the room

a soundtrack to compliment the condition.

She's puffing, she's panting, she's even getting pretty moan-y.

{Basically, it sounds like she is in the process of having a baby.}

Tyler, who has been immersed in emails on his phone, suddenly looks up at me and whispers:

"Do you hear that lady?"

Which one? The contractions lady? Yeah. 

"I mean, she sounds terrible. It sounds like she's in a lot of pain."

Yeah, babe. 

This is a labor ward.

"But that's kind of an exaggeration, right?"

An exaggeration? What do you mean?

"I mean, it's not really that bad, right?"

I'm sorry?

Do you not understand the physics of this process?

Yes, it's that bad. It's terrible.

"Well, obviously...

but I didn't realize it hurt that bad.

I just thought it was basically like a tough work out...

you know, it doesn't feel great,

 but you power through.

But that... that sounds way worse."

Okay, is this a real conversation?

Are you serious right now?

Right before his eyes explode, 

he apologetically glances at my stomach

and whispers,

"What have I done to you?"

____________________

I still laugh when we bring this up...
I mean, honestly,
a work out?

*all images original to Aspiring Kennedy via instagram. Username: aspiringkennedy

Italian For Beginners

Headed to Italy anytime soon? 

Whether you have a fabulous trip planned

or just need a diversion from your inbox,

here are some phrases that I find to be quite handy when in Italy.

Okay, okay...

Obviously, I don't use these particular phrases that often.

In fact, I googled translated most of it...

but now that I've got them,

I'm putting them in the back of my mind

for my girls weekend in Rome

that I'm leaving for today.

And, oh baby, am I excited...

I will be meeting up with Oxford friends

that I haven't seen in over a year

and, the best part... zero percent chance of rain.

Check me out on Instagram (aspiringkennedy) as we explore the Eternal City.

Ciao ragazzi!

PS. What places do you love in Rome? Suggestions, per favore!

Oh, Hi There.

Hi, I'm Lauren.

I write a blog called Aspiring Kennedy.

I live in England,

but travel around quite a bit.

Sometimes I travel so much, in fact,

that I neglect my blog.

But if you regularly read my blog,

you already knew that.

I've been doing some VERY cool stuff

and seeing some VERY cool things...

here are some instagram pics to give you a peek.

Scotland's Isle of Skye is absurd.

How can this place exist?

It is everything L.L.Bean has ever wanted to be.

But forget dramatic Scottish cliffs 

& seaside picnics with buckets of artery-clogging food.

Today I just want to show you this website,

Kate Middleton for the Win.

It's entirely based around fake captions

to pictures of Kate Middleton.

Like this:

I'm in Paris for two more days

and then head back to London.

If I don't write before then, remember:

Even if I can't blog on the road,

I can always Instagram.

(Take the hint! My username is aspiringkennedy) 

So the real question is:

 What have you been up this week?

*all images original to Aspiring Kennedy

These can't be real...

...can they?

I saw these at our local market...

and can not figure out the anatomy 

"behind" them.

They have, like, literally,

twenty times more material 

than a standard thong.

Not that I, ahem, wear thongs or anything...

 it was only an observation.

Yeah, I was just trying to think about 

energy efficiency...

 and excess material...

 and stuff....