You're Not As Big {Or Small} As You Think

 I recently went to a party for bloggers 
here in London.

It was a fancy party 
 in a gorgeous venue
full of pretty people
hugging each other 
and catching up over pretty drinks...
and I knew, like, no one.

I had a small handful of friendly faces,
but as people began to talk shop 
and discuss other blogs & other events,
I kept laughing to myself.

I had no idea who anyone was
or what any of the events were
that people were talking about so naturally.

I mean, I started to question if I was actually a legitimate blogger.

{Even though calling myself a "blogger" has always made me cringe.}

As I sat at the bus stop 
on the way home,
I clicked through twitter
and saw that a guest post I had written had gone live
 and had been linked from a blogging friend
who has a really cute new blog.

As I read her introduction to my blog,
she referred to me as a "major blogger."

And it got me thinking.

{Oh no. Here I go again.}
Here I was in the middle of feeling like a nobody
and, also, feeling pretty good about myself.

Could I actually be both?

I think the answer is... yeah, we can.

I think that most of the time it is easy
to lean one way or the other:
we feel pretty important at some moments
and totally insignificant in others.

We get over-inflated by people who like us, 
and then deflated by others who don't notice us.

Especially in blogging
when the number of followers
and posted comments is consistently present.

You get more "likes" than others on a picture. Plus one.
Someone else has a big time blogger comment on their post. Minus one.

Back and forth it goes.

But I have to tell you, 
and I can say this with a lot of certainty after 3 years of blogging....

None of it really matters.

Blogging is so fun. 

I've made some of my best friends 
through this crazy hobby.

The relationships are amazing...
but if you aren't finding yourself here
or making those relationships,
it's really okay.

Instead of going out and searching for new relationships
why not foster the ones that you already have?

Give attention to the people that already like you
and start forming deeper relationships with them.

Because you'll never be the biggest fish in the pond in blogging,
sorry- it's true. 

The Pioneer Woman, Naomi & Cup of Jo have already won that title.

But you can be a really big deal to someone else.



  1. You are getting so wise in your old age! Thanks for such a reflective post today.

  2. So So So true Lauren! You never know, once you meet Princess Kate you may surpass Pioneer Woman, Naomi, and Cup of Jo :)

  3. You're right!!Anyway, to me, you'll be always be a very major blogger!!!(and even in my opinion, you're like Naomi!)
    Thumb up for you!!!!
    Have a nice Monday from Italy!

  4. I've been thinking a lot about this lately. There are "hotel" bloggers (bloggers who do it for commercial gain) and "bed and breakfast bloggers" (bloggers who do it to meet people and have a more intimate feel). My blogging world is definitely bed and breakfast bloggers. I wrote a post about hotel bloggers versus bed and breakfast bloggers, but then never published it because I felt like in the end it didn't matter. Because, like you say, we are all just sharing and meeting and enjoying the ride.

    Lovely post. People ask if I know certain bloggers all the time and I'm like, "No. Not unless they're personal friends. Other than that, they probably don't know me either." And I'm totally okay with that.

  5. Thanks so much for writing this-- could not be more true!

  6. So perfect! I had a great coffee date with a friend this morning and then came home to do some writing for my teeny tiny little blog. I realized just how content I felt and how grateful to be lucky enough to have great friends and a creative outlet that I enjoy. It's important to remember that you define success and that blogging, like life, is better when you focus on happiness.


  7. You are the number one blogger to me - the first blog address I type into my computer at work every morning! :-) (And I also love Rockstar Diaries, but it's number two.)

  8. really well said and so true... such a great post!

  9. Replies
    1. Good question. I have no idea who Naomi is either! haha

    2. haha.. she's also known as "Taza." She used to write a blog called "Rockstar Diaries" but it changed to "Love Taza" (I think?) now. It's great. She is pretty adorable!

  10. LOVE. You are a major blogger my friend.

  11. Very well said, Lauren...although in my mind you are a big kahuna blogger!! I do love Joanna's blog, but I, frankly, cannot stand to read Naomi's blog. You and Joanna know how to keep it real!

    I don't have many followers but I really enjoy what I do and have made many great blogging friends plus my blog has led me to a business prospect I never thought has been the perfect outlet for me now that all my children have flown the coop.

    Keep doing what you are doing - you are the best!

  12. Want an ego boost? I frequent your blog way more than Cup of Jo, pioneer woman is so 2008, and who in the world is Naiomi? ;) Love you Lauren! To me, you are one of the best!

  13. Such great words! This is why I love reading your blog :)

  14. i love this. i am happy if i get one comment on something. i think if i had as many as most bloggers i wouldn't know what to do because i want to reply to every single one. plus then i would have to blog more than once a week (if that). ps i like your blog wayyy more than cup of jo, have never read pioneer woman and i don't know who naomi is.

  15. Who is Naomi?

    Also, "why not foster the ones that you already have" is so so true! Love that point.

  16. This is so great, and so true- I hope I do foster the relationships I have. I get so excited when a blogger I really admire follows me on Twitter/ Bloglovin/ GFC (I got so excited when you followed me on Twitter!) and I find it very strange to think that someone may feel like that about me. I adore comments and tweets and things, but mostly I do this for me- everything else is a bonus. xx

  17. Hahaha its so funny cause I started following your blog a few months ago and now am a regular and have a creepy girl crush on you, your blogging style and life... :). That being said, im a frequent blog follower and I have heard of pioneer woman, but never checked out her blog... but consistently read yours. Sooo just cause your the big fish in the pond, doesn't diminish the joy or value the small fish give to others!

  18. i love this post~ thanks for the reminder and words of wisdom

    xo the egg out west.

  19. Hi there,
    Just wanted to say I love your blog - why bother trying to be the biggest or the best just be you and that's enough. No point competing with anyone else. I love your travel posts and the posts about your new baby and your life. Your blog posts are brave and heartfelt. Just keep being yourself and I'm sure you'll win lots more fans :)

  20. Amen girl. I blog for myself alone...and to keep the few family and friends I have back home in the loop all at once. If someone else happens to stop by and read -- great! If not, no biggie :)

  21. I can tell you for certain that yours has been my favorite blog since the day my friend introduced me to it! :)

  22. You speak lovely and true words. There will always be someone out there with more wins than you, but that just can't stop you from doing something fun!

  23. I love reading all these comments. TO ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO JUST KNOW LAUREN FROM HER BLOG: I was her high school French teacher. She was one of the funniest kids I've ever taught, plus, she made me listen to Andrea Bocelli in the hill towns of Tuscany and I will never be the same again. :) Love you, LBBK. And, for the millionth time, I couldn't be prouder to call you my friend. :)

  24. Great post! I have been blogging for a while now and definitely have felt a little jealous about how huge those "big three" really are, but of course I could never be like them because I'm me, not them. (for the record, I used to follow Cup of Jo and Pioneer Woman and I stopped because it was overwhelming and I didn't feel uplifted after reading their blogs, but Naomi's blog always puts a smile on my face) Anyway, just when I feel all ho-hum about blogging, a friend from my youth comments on my blog that she never comments but always reads and loves my blog and it just makes my day!

  25. I love my teeny tiny blog because of the impact it has on my life, and that's why I blog. It gives me a forum to reflect on what I do and remember to enjoy it all! I am new to blogging and I would lie if I said I didn't want to get involved in the community more, interaction is something I think is so important, but I'm ok with my blog being teeny tiny and being able to really care for those I know through it x

  26. I adore your blog. Love your thoughts and your insight. You are absolutely right ~ none of it really matters as long as you are happy in what your are doing. The friendships that I have made because of blogging are truly priceless and if that is all that comes out of throwing my two cents into the blogosphere I am happy with that. It is so easy to get caught up in this "crazy hobby" and you are setting such a wonderful example. I will take your wise advice and foster the relationships that I have made and continue to blog for me.

  27. "you can be a big deal to someone else" - YES. thank you for this today :)

  28. You're right. Very encouraging post. Thanks!

  29. HI! I love the look of your blog! I found you via 'Expat Life.' Will pop back soon.

  30. I recently found your blog and I love it. I love the way you write, it's open, honest, and REAL!! Thanks for posting this, it's wonderful advice and something I really needed to hear.


  31. You are a big deal to me. The discipline you have to blog regularly is phenomenal. I love reading your blog because it helps balance me out - I get sucked into a whirlpool of what I think are life and death decisions (they're not really but to 10 year olds they are) and reading your blog gives me perspective. It helps me to remember to enjoy life. And that its okay to like the pretty.

  32. spot on! To me it's all about inspiration outside my own bubble and if friends come with it, great, but I really just try to express myself and share creativity.. It's really for me and no one else, I suppose. I love your attitude, and thank you for passing it on.

  33. I just found you via Sixth Street Design School, but thanks for this. I have been blogging three? years, and I'm still teeny tiny. Sometimes I get frustrated because the numbers climb so slow, and then I read this and it made me laugh. So true. Love Taza, Pioneer Woman, and Cup of Jo are all on my blog list and they truly have won the top blog award. And they deserve to. They do such an amazing job. So whatever! I love what I do, and whatever happens, happens. Thanks for sharing :).

  34. Popped over here via Freckles - great post! Most of my real life friends don't read blogs and rarely even read mine - I love that about them - they make me realize how small the blogging world, which seems so huge sometimes, really is.

  35. You're kind of a big deal, you know that, right? I have stars in my eyes when I look at you. xo

  36. I stumbled upon you little blog (and instagram too, but I don't want to come across as too much of a creeper!) a while back and this post has brought me out of unknown visitor darkness and inspired me to finally write a comment. I couldn't help but laugh at your last four lines because as I read them I was thinking "Pioneer Woman???", "Naomi who???", and "Thank goodness I've actually heard of this one. Jo has great giveaways...that don't ship to Canada". While I am humorously unaware of who the blog world's 'it' girls consist of, I can happily say that I love reading your blog because it is real, unpretentious and personal. You are able to find beauty in everyday life and appreciate the small things. After all you have been through (the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows), you have remained warm, honest, and geniune. Thank you for keepin'it real and please don't change. Or stop writing (:

  37. I just read this post. I loved it!! Thank you.


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