The Babies Kennedy: The Bassinet's Half Full


Dear Friends,

It's with puffy eyes
and an exhausted brain
that I type this post out.

Saturday, I gave birth to our twins
at St. Mary's Hospital in London.

For unforeseen circumstances
-and fortunately for my future sanity, unpreventable-
we are now back home 
settling into our new life 
with only one of them.

While we are devastated 
by the unexpected loss 
of our second twin
{who we'll always refer to as our little "Baby B"},
we are completely enamored
by her sister's presence in our life.

While the world may seem different today than it did 5 days ago,
it, amazingly, somehow still feels better
now that we have this child in our life...

In spite of the moments of deepest heartache
that well up at the remembrance of our previous expectations
and the site of a second pair or ruffled socks
or the empty car seat sitting attached to our stroller,
Tyler & I find ours hearts bursting with love & pride
over the life of our sweet daughter.

This amazing pregnancy was never ours to begin with...
it's been a gift we were given from the very beginning.

While we ache over losing our little girl,
we feel exceptionally blessed to walk away from it all
with my health restored
and a daughter.

We are thankful that God was merciful enough
to give us two babies from the start....
where would we be at this moment had he not?

While we can see this moment as one of the darkest of our lives,
we are trying to enjoy finding the joy in it.

So last night, we decided
that we are going to celebrate that,
in spite of this sad loss,
that the bassinet is half-full.


____________



I hope that as I begin to wrap my head 
around the last few days,
I'll be able to share more with you...

But for now I just wanted to express my thanks
for those that have written and worried,
your concern for our lives really does mean so much.

And I'd also like to introduce you to our daughter,
she's absolutely perfect.





xx- 
Lauren & Tyler


___________________


While I fall a bit off the radar 
as our families & friends help us adjust to new life,
I hope you'll enjoy the posts 
that I wrote before delivery
regarding some of my favorite places
 to travel & enjoy tea time in London.

As much as I'd love to help with travel emails & questions,
I know you understand my need to focus elsewhere.

Thanks for all of your generous and selfless support for our family,
I can't articulate how much it means.




247 comments:

  1. For a time when there truly are no words, you have said it beautifully. Love you, sweet friend! Viola is beautiful.

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  2. Lauren, I am sending you the biggest hugs and prayers from NYC. I can't even imagine your loss, but your outlook is seriously inspiring. Voila is perfect and I'm so happy for you & Tyler (and families). Wishing you two all the best in the world! xx

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  3. Love you, sweet friend! Viola is beautiful. xo

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  4. Your loss is unimaginable, but you are somehow still handling it with such grace. Viola is precious. Sending love and prayers across the pond to you and Tyler from Boston.

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  5. Lauren, I am so glad that you are able to find joy in a time that must also be filled with such sadness. Viola is a lucky little lady. Congratulations to your family on your new little girl!

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  6. oh my goodness, Lauren, I can't imagine the unexpected shock of your loss and the strength you have found to move forward with grace and faith. sending you and Tyler and your beautiful daughter (with such a lovely name!) so much love across the ocean!

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  7. Oh Lauren I don't know what to say. So I guess I will just say that I am thinking about you and Tyler, praying for you, and thinking that Viola is such a beautiful baby with a beautiful name to boot!

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  8. It takes an enormous amount of bravery to share something so personal and heartbreaking with the world. My heart and my prayers go out to you, as you both rejoice over a new life, and mourn the loss of another.

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  9. Lauren I cannot imagine what you, Tyler and your family are going through. Many prayers and positive thoughts being sent you way - because really that is all I can offer you. And while it is bittersweet to type saying how beautiful Viola is, she is absolutely beautiful.

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  10. I can't pretend to imagine how you are feeling but sending prayers your way that your recovery both physically and mentally goes well. Your little girl is just adorable!

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  11. Lauren, this is so bittersweet. Your outlook on this is incredibly inspiring. You have touched me, and (I'm sure) more people than you know. Viola is beautiful and strong, and is so lucky that you are her mother.

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  12. Viola is beautiful, and I hope you can take comfort in a strangers prayers and good wishes being sent to all of you.

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  13. While I don't know you in person, I have been thankful you've let us share in the joys of your pregnancy. From the bottom of my heart I am so sorry for your loss, but as others have said, you've handled it with such amazing grace. Please know you, Tyler, Viola and your family are in my prayers. I have no doubt God is holding you all in His precious hands.

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  14. Lauren, I am so sorry. I am so so sorry. My love to you. I can't imagine... I'm just so sorry. This is a new life, one very different than you expected, and I know you will live it to the fullest because you have so much love, enough love to give to a thousand babies.

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  15. my heart is breaking for you. but you will pull through this and viola is the most precious gift. cherish her and keep up your wonderful spirit. you are an inspiration to us all to turn the worst moments of our lives into joy. love from Wisconsin.

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  16. Oh Lauren, I am so sorry for your loss. I can personally understand what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. And I'm lifting up the sweetest of thoughts and prayers to baby b.

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  17. Oh, Lauren. My heart simultaneously breaks and bursts for you. Viola is so beautiful and so blessed to have such wonderful parents. Please know there are so many people praying for you and your sweet family.

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  18. Oh Lauren, your outlook on this is amazing... I cannot imagine what you both went through, my heart feels so heavy for you. But I must say, little Viola is just SO perfect and is so lucky to have such an incredible Mom and Dad in her world.

    Sending you tons of bear hugs. xx

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  19. My heart aches as I read this. I had been checking on twitter for any update on the delivery. You are blessed to have baby viola with you. Children are a gift from god he lets us borrow them for a certain amount of time. Some longer than other, I had my angel for only 4months. Focus all your time at home as don't worry abt us readers. We will see you soon enough. Much love!

    Ayol1988@ymail.com

    Celeste

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  20. What a beautiful name for a beautiful baby girl! Sending all of you prayers and support in this time of sorrow and joy.

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  21. Lauren my prayers are with you, Tyler & Viola and your little B in heaven. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. As the days go by may physical healing come quickly to your body and as you pour your love out on Viola may emotional healing comes as well. Hugs!

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  22. What a beautifully written post. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Baby B, but choosing the celebrate Viola is an incredibly strong thing you two have chosen to do. Praying for your family during the difficult time. Congratulations on Miss Viola - she is beautiful!

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  23. Lauren I am SO SO sorry for your loss. Your daughter is absolutely gorgeous as I'm sure baby B was too. I am praying for you tonight, today, and this entire week, and month. I'm heart broken for you. But I know you will get through this in time. Please let us know if we can do anything to help.

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  24. lauren,

    lots of love and prayers for you and your new family. viola is absolutely beautiful!!!

    thinking about you and tyler,
    allison

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  25. Thank you for being brave enough to share this with all of us. I hope you and Tyler know that even though you have never meet all of us posting that you mean something to us, and that our hearts are with you guys. Thank you for sharing as future mother it really means so much to read about your journey. Your daughter Viola is beautiful (and wonderfully named!) and I'm sure Baby B was just as beautiful! love from California.

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  26. Oh Lauren, I'm so heartbroken to hear this but as many others here have said, you said it perfectly with grace and dignity and I know those are traits that you'll pass to your beautiful daughter. Much love and prayers headed your way.

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  27. Thank you so much for sharing this, I was starting to worry and grow antsy to see how things went. I am so so sorry for your loss, but your outlook on this hard time is incredibly inspiring and brave. My thoughts and best wishes to you and your beautiful family.
    Lots of love,
    Anna

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  28. I don't even have words. I know my tears are nothing compared to yours, but my heart just aches for you all. All I know to do is to pray...I don't even know what for. But to just pray. Sending you prayers and hugs. I have been thinking about you the past few days and wondering what was going on. I never imagined this. How precious Viola is. We are here to listen if you need a listening ear.

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  29. Viola is a a beautiful and lucky little girl. Amazed that you have the presence to be able to put together such a thoguhtful post given all that you are experiencing right now. Thoughts and prayers for y'all in the days that lay ahead!

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  30. I've never commented on anything here before, despite how much I enjoy your blog & Instagram updates, but this post made me feel as though I must. Lauren and Tyler, I am so, so sorry for the loss of your other baby girl. Please find comfort in the beautiful life of Viola, and know that you have tons of love and support from all your friends, family, and blog readers near and far. You are a brave woman, and I wish you lots of love at this difficult time.

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  31. Viola is such a perfect name and she is beautiful. Lauren my heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and Tyler and your family. You have such strength and grace. xo

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  32. Lauren, my heart is with you all. Your sweet & precious family is being lifted up all around the world to the God who loves you. In trying to find words to write here I saw what AshleyB said just a couple of comments up and I wish to second that. She said it perfectly. Your unimaginable strength will guide your daughter into a remarkable woman, just like her mother. With Tyler by your side, a daughter in your arms and a daughter in your heart, and an incredible God to hold onto you all, you have blessing upon blessing, grace upon grace.

    Love and prayers from Oregon.

    And welcome sweet Baby Viola - most beautiful baby girl! You are so loved the whole world 'round!

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  33. This breaks my heart hearing this. I'm so thankful you have Viola to help comfort you both as you grieve. She's absolutely beautiful. Congratulations on your 1/2 full bassinet. I'll be praying for healing for you both.
    xo

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  34. My heart is heavy for all of you. You have a beautiful outlook on just a not fair situation. Sending hugs.

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  35. You're truly an amazing woman, and are blessed with a perfect daughter. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! Viola is already so loved.

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  36. thinking of you constantly, lauren. sending you love and hope and peace (and sleep!) from over here.
    xo

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  37. I hope you feel loved and supported by your family and friends in person as well as those who care about you here. I cannot begin to understand how you must feel but I can also say that I am so impressed by your outlook and know that it will pull you through this. I'm glad that you are focusing on the wonderful present while you also deal with the very present loss.

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  38. What a gorgeous baby girl you have. So sorry to hear about your loss and thinking about your new family today.

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  39. Lauren, my heart hurts for you and Tyler and little V while simultaneously rejoicing for you. You have a beautiful daughter, and while I know you grieve the loss of her sister, I pray these coming days will be filled less with the tears and sorrow of what might have been and instead filled with the wonder of the new life on the planet and in your arms. Please know during this time of healing, our hearts and prayers are with you and your family. I know we are all looking forward to watching Viola grow and play and make the most of this amazing life she and her parents have been given.

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  40. You are so powerful for having written this post. Sending you love, prayers, hope, peace and best wishes for Viola!

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  41. I am praying for your lovely family -- for peace, wisdom, comfort. I also pray that your grant yourself grace now and through the years as you experience intermingled joy and grief.

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  42. viola is such a beautiful baby girl. my heart breaks for your loss. sending prayers and love for you and your family.

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  43. Lauren, my heart aches for you and Tyler just as it is also bursting with joy. Viola is absolutely beautiful & I know that she carries the spirit of her sister within her as well. Lots of love and prayers to you today - take some time off, and come back whenever you are ready! Once again, Viola is so stunningly precious :)

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  44. Lauren and Tyler, your baby girl is gorgeous!
    I wish you all the best, lots of love, good health and, in good time, lots of laughter as you enjoy your wonderful girl!

    Love from Portugal

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  45. Congratulations Lauren & Tyler to your sweet baby girl! Viola is so beautiful and perfect!!
    The story of losing her sister is really heartbreaking. She will always remain in your hearts, and would only want you to look positive into life. My thoughts are with you!

    Much love from Germany
    Svenja
    xx

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  46. I am so sorry! I am also happy for you and baby Viola. I am totally impressed by your positive outlook.

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  47. Lauren, my heart was heavy as I read your post, but I was also moved by your incredible strength, inner steel and capacity for love. Viola is a beautiful little girl, and I pray that you can continue to take joy in her life, as you grieve. Congratulations on such a darling- and your whole family will be in my heart.

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  48. What a beautiful and precious baby girl! Oh, and I loved her name :)
    I can't wait to see more sweet pictures of her, but I'm glad you're taking some time to rest and soak it all up first... You sure deserve it!

    (I am so deeply sorry for your loss and truly wish that you can find peace along the way).

    Big hugs all the way from Brazil!
    www.camilagcarneiro.blogspot.com.br

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  49. Lauren and Tyler, my thoughts and prayers are with you as you walk through the valleys of loss and peaks of life. Viola is beautiful and what a precious gift! I don't think any of us could say it better than you have.

    I am incredibly blessed by your blog, life and inspiring (uplifting) words, always. You've been such a treasure to journey with and I hope with all my heart you will hang on to that joy. Fight for it girl. I'll be fighting for it with ya in prayer.

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  50. Congratulations on your beautiful daughter! I am so very sorry to hear the news. We can never know God's plan. I will be praying for you.

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  51. Viola always have one of God's most precious angels watching over her! sending prayers and happiness your way!

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  52. Lauren and Tyler, congratulations on beautiful Viola. She is precious. My heart is so heavy for your loss, I will keep your family in my prayers.

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  53. I have no words sufficient, but be assured I have so much love, joy, sorrow, and gratitude all mixed up in me right now. I am sending you my deepest sympathy and biggest congrats. Conflicting moments in life that are unimaginable to experience at one time. I am thankful to know you. You have an incredible gift to take these moments and seek the joy.
    And Viola...well you know I love V names...she is perfect and beautiful.
    Love and prayers,
    Anna

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  54. oh Lauren, my heart absolutely aches for your loss. but Viola is a beautiful little girl, and I'm so happy that you and she are healthy and safe and (mostly) happy. I'd like to think that her missing twin will be watching over her throughout life, a dear guardian angel.

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  55. Lauren, I've been stalking instagram and your blog for photos. Viola looks absolutely perfect. What a beautiful, sweet baby girl. Congratulations. My prayers are with you and Tyler for the loss of her sister. There are no words. Your outlook and spirit are admirable. I have no doubt this was a difficult post to write. Love and prayers for you and your beautiful family.

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  56. Viola is so so sweet! I hope you find peace, serenity, and hope in holding her and your hubby close in such a bittersweet time. I know tears can be so therapeutic, especially when shared with others, so know that tears are being shed and prayers being given on your behalf by complete strangers. I wish all of us readers could be there in person to help you in this challenge but may our thoughts and prayers buoy you and your family up.

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  57. Lauren, I've been checking around social media the past few days for updates, and I assumed you were busy tucking in to your new life as a Mom, enjoying baby snuggles and snatching sleep when you could. I am so heartbroken for you that you've experienced the loss of little B, but so very heart-full in celebrating gorgeous little Viola. Your combination of devotion to family, determination, and bright spirit will not only help you, Tyler, and your family through this loss but will be such a foundation for Viola to grow from and be supported by.
    You're in my thoughts- for little B, Viola, and for your new Mommy life!
    *big hugs*

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  58. I've been checking your blog and twitter CONSTANTLY lately, hoping for some good news. I'm so sorry that your good news contains heartbreak at the same time. I really am so sorry for your loss.

    On the other hand, CONGRATULATIONS on Viola! She is absolutely beautiful and I LOVE her name. :)

    I can't imagine the dichotomy of emotions you must be feeling right now. You and your family will be in my prayers and I hope you can experience both peace and joy as you settle in as a family.

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  59. Viola is beautiful.

    You are so good at seeing the beauty amid the pain, Van and Davy-esque.

    Praying for you to continue to heal, inside and out. I feel so deeply sad reading this, but also so inspired at the same time.

    That is the most heartbreaking realization about motherhood... these babies are not really ours. Its an incredible gift to be able to share any amount of time with them.

    Hoping you have a beautiful, gracefilled sabbatical from the blog just indulging in inloveness with your adorable family.

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  60. Lauren, I don't have the right words to say or anything, but I am so sorry for your loss. You are already such an amazing mother. Thank you for opening your heart to us. We are sending prayers and love to your family. Love, Sarah

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  61. I am so sad to hear this and am so sorry for your loss. I hope things get better and that the joy comes flooding in from that beautiful little girl Viola (amazing name!).

    Of course you already have her in knit wear and a giant flower!

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  62. So beautifully written, my heart aches for your loss. You both are so strong, and I know you will be the most wonderful parents to sweet Viola. Sending prayers your way.

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  63. Lauren & Tyler,
    I am sending you both virtual kisses and hugs and especially to such a lovely little baby girl.
    May the passing of each day find you both stronger. I am incredibly sad for your loss but incredibly in awe of your little Viola. May you bestow all your love and grace upon her and the memory of what will always be a happy and sad day.
    It's an oxymoron. I feel happy and then sad. I wish I were there to hug you all.
    pve

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  64. Oh Lauren, I cannot even imagine the overwhelming emotions you, Tyler and your whole family has gone through these past few days. Congratulations on Viola, she is absolutely gorgeous. I'll be sending all of you love!

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  65. Lauren, my prayers are for you and your family today. Your little blessing is beautiful and congratulations!! Enjoy her and allow yourself to be happy and excited for the future with her. xoxo

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  66. I am so, so sorry. I was worried when I didn't see any instagram photos for a while... I can't imagine what you and Tyler are going through right now. You are surrounded by love and support, and I hope that that will in some small way, help ease the pain.

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  67. Lauren and Tyler. You have shown such grace and strength in sharing this news - I can't imagine that I can say anything useful. But, what a joy and delight Baby Viola is - such a sweet face. Best wishes and welcome to your darling baby girl. And Godspeed and blessings to Baby B - always an angel. I wish happiness, comfort, love, and peace for your family.

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  68. Oh, Lauren! I am so, so sorry! I have no words!
    What a beautiful little girl Viola is! I hope and pray God will give you the strength to enjoy Viola as well as mourn the loss of her sister.

    xoxo

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  69. I am without words, but I hope you know I am keeping all 4 of you in my thoughts, in my prayers and in my heart.

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  70. I am so sorry to hear about your loss! Viola is absolutely perfect and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!

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  71. Sending Love and Prayers form Texas. So sorry for your loss, but also what a blessing Viola must feel like, enjoy your time with your new one :) xoxo

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  72. oh, friend - i do not even know what to say other than my heart breaks and rejoices with you. thank you for your openness and writing this so beautifully. thoughts and prayers are sent your way.

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  73. Keeping you, Tyler, & your families close in my heart & prayers, right now. Your words are precious, & are filled with The Spirit residing in you. He will comfort you, as no one else can, & will help keep you close to your Baby B, even as you & Tyler raise darling Viola & future kids. I pray your full health will return quickly, & you can enjoy, to the fullest, being a MOM! Congratulations! Love, Andee

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  74. My heart goes out to you and your family Lauren, keeping you all in my prayers. Sending a whole lot of love and admiration your way from across the pond!

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  75. Tyler and Lauren,

    The love you are experiencing for Viola right now is one of the best, deepest love you will ever experience. It is this same love that has brought on the deepest grief you will ever know. Though there will be things you will never know about Baby B, you are filled with love for her. You are now more homesick for Heaven than you have ever been before. God feels this grief and longing and wraps His loving arms around you. Look into the eyes of your precious Viola and know that you have a piece of Heaven with you and a piece of yourself in Heaven. We love you and have cried and prayed for you.
    Michael and Brooke Hall

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  76. I'm sending you lots of love from Oregon. My heart goes out to you & Tyler during this difficult time. I know there are no words that could possibly make anything better. Just enjoy your new & perfect little baby girl. She's lucky to have you & Tyler as her new parents.

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  77. I'm so deeply sorry for your loss of Baby B, Lauren. I can't even begin to imagine what a difficult time you must be going through but want you to know that I'm thinking of you and sending warm hugs and thoughts. I know that you and Tyler are going to be the best parents to Viola. x

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  78. My heart aches and rejoices for you. I am sorry for your loss, but also joyed to welcome the beautiful Viola into the world. My thoughts and love are with you.
    XO, Rachel
    With Love, Rachel

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  79. Lauren - I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sending you lots of virtual hugs your way. Viola is beyond perfect.

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  80. gosh, i cannot even imagine the range of emotions you are experiencing right now, but i am praying for peace ans healing for you and tyler. viola is absolutely gorgeous and perfect. soak up her tiny snuggles! xo

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  81. You are such a shining example of grace, thanksgiving, and love. Even at a time of loss, you are clearly soaking in the sunshine that Viola and Baby B have brought to your lives. Be well. Enjoy your family and friends. Take care of yourselves. Viola and Baby B must be so proud to have been given to you, no matter the amount of time spent on earth.

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  82. My heartaches for you and your family. Viola is one lucky little girl.

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  83. I am praying for you guys and hoping this new transition is as easy as possible. You two are going to be the best parents and I'm sure Viola is already seeing that. :)

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  84. So much love to you and your family. Viola is beautiful (and I love that name!) x

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  85. I don't even know you and I am bawling as I read this. I am so sorry for your loss, but so glad you have sweet little Viola. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Tyler.

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  86. Sending so much love and prayers your way!! You and Tyler are going to shower that baby girl with so much love!!! She is absolutely precious, and that name fits her so well. We are all thinking about y'all right now, you have so much love coming your way!! Give her kisses from all of us across the pond!!!

    -Emily

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  87. Lauren, I can't even imagine what you and Tyler are going though right now. All of the HIP group is sending love and prayers! Viola is the most beautiful baby, and I can't wait see the amazing girl she grows into.

    -Samantha

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  88. As many others, I was frequently checking social media with anxiousness the last few days and was so sad to hear your heartbreaking news today. I can't imagine how difficult this loss must be for you and my sincerest thoughts and sympathies are with you and your family.

    Viola is absolutely beautiful and I know she must be bringing moments of complete and utter joy in the midst of your grief.

    Much love to you all.

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  89. Oh Lauren, I am so sorry. But what a beautiful blessing Viola is. Keeping your new family in my prayers.

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  90. Lauren,

    So happy to see your post and the beautiful photo..Viola, what a beautiful name for such a beautiful baby girl. I know I mentioned this in my previous message, but if you need anything let Ryan and I know. I am so touched by your view of the bassinet being half full, and I know how blessed it is to have a child join your family. We will continue praying for you guys.

    Love you,
    B. The Compass Rose

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  91. Oh my gosh, Lauren, my deepest, deepest sympathies to you and Tyler. I write this with tears streaming down my cheeks, and yet I am in complete awe at your optimism - I'm sure that is not easy to do. As difficult as this must be, your beautiful daughter (and my oh my is she ever beautiful) needs you right now, and you have no choice but to accept life as it is and move forward. You need to be present for her. You are an amazing woman! Stay strong.
    I'm sending you long distance love from Canada.
    xoxoxo

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  92. I have been thinking about you, noticing your absence from instagram, since last weekend. My heart breaks for you. May God continue to lay his hand on you and your little family. Viola is so beautiful and she will know nothing but love in your home. I look forward to all of the future posts about your life going forward. So sorry for the loss of Baby B. Hugs from Nebraska!

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  93. Lauren....tears are literally washing across my face as I type this but they are filled with so much admiration for you and for the incredibly strong and beautiful woman you are. Little Miss Viola (who PS, is the new owner of one of my most favourite names of all times!!!!!) is absolutely gorgeous and beyond lucky to have a mommy like you and a family so wonderful to call her own. Sending so many hugs across the ocean and happy congratulations on the birth of your beautiful girl. xoxoxoxo

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  94. Oh my goodness, for such a sad time you said the most perfect, eloquent words. I have enjoyed hearing about your journey, I know it's been quite a large one! My deepest sympathies to you and Tyler!

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  95. lauren, she's gorgeous! praying for you and tyler, MUCHO hugs and love to you both. you WILL get through this. i admire your strength and i know you will shower baby Viola with so much love. thinking of you. xoox

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  96. I'm so sad to hear this, but admire you for pushing to think of the basinet as half full. I follow you on Instagram, and was worried when I hadn't seen any more updates. I'm sure some days that will be easier than other days, but you are so blessed to have little Viola. I'll be praying for you and your family.

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  97. I have been thinking of you these past few days and am so, so sorry for your loss. There are definitely tears over here right now. But your post is beautifully written & although I'm sure this has been an emotional rollercoaster, little Viola is gorgeous & very lucky to have you guys as parents.

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  98. My heart goes out to you. I'm incredibly sorry for your loss and I'm praying for healing, comfort, and peace for you and your family.

    I also wanted to say a big congratulations on beautiful Viola! She is so precious! I'm so happy she's here and look forward to seeing more of her on your blog!

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  99. Lauren, What a beautiful little girl! I am so sorry for the loss of your other precious girl but I will be praying for God to comfort you both during this time!

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  100. My heart breaks for you over your tremendous loss. I am so sad to hear this news, but also so happy you have been blessed with a beautiful baby girl. May she comfort you during this very difficult time and bring you many years of pure joy and love.

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  101. My heart aches for you sweet girl :( I am so sorry for your loss, and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Your daughter is absolutely beautiful! What a blessing. I will continue to pray for you and your little family. God bless you all! xoxo

    Jennifer

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  102. So truly bittersweet. Thinking of you in this time of both joy and sorrow. And congratulations are in order for the arrival of Viola, such a beautiful addition to your family!

    Besitos,
    Meghann

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  103. Lauren, my heart and soul are aching for you and Tyler. I ache because of the loss and I ache with joy at the sight of your sweet viola (LOVE that name by the way). Please know that I am praying incessantly for you three.

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  104. love you sweet friend. I admire you so much for this post. you are such a strong and courageous woman. Your words were so beautiful and perfect. Been praying for you constantly and cannot wait to meet beautiful Viola and give you a lot of hugs.

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  105. Lauren, tu as un grand coeur! je te souhaite du courage et de l'amour dans ta vie.
    truly yours, J

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  106. Oh Lauren.
    She's so lovely! I am so sorry to hear of your loss but happy to celebrate your new joy with the rest of blogland. Rest up (if you can), Mama!

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  107. Dear Lauren,
    First, I want to congratulate you and Tyler on your beautiful Viola. She is perfect! I'm so sorry for your loss, and admire your strength and courage. Warmest wishes for you and your new family from Paris,

    Karina

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  108. Lauren,

    I'm so sorry for your loss, and can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I had been thinking about you the last few days and wondering how things were going, and just had this sinking feeling that as we hadn't heard from you, something wasn't right. I know you have the love and support of your family and friends, and the comfort of your new baby girl, but please know you also have all of 'us' sending you hugs and lots of love.

    Courtenay

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  109. Dear Lauren,
    Congratulations on your beautiful daughter Viola-- You are right to celebrate your blessings and find joy in this bittersweet time--sending you warmest wishes, Barbara

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  110. Praying for your peace, and celebrating the lives of your two little ones. They're such a huge gift - no matter how they come into our lives, or for however long they are here with us. A priest once told a friend of mine, who lost their baby at 8 months in utero, that "The only thing baby John knew in this life was love."

    I hope this brings some comfort to you, that you are an exceptional mother and will be given many graces to carry this heavy burden.

    Viola is beautiful.

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  111. Lauren!You have to be thankful for your little gift!!For your little Viola (it reminds me "Shakespeare in love", the movie with Gwyneth Paltrow!)!!!
    She's wonderful!
    You three will always have a little angel next to you!
    I send you a big hug!!!

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  112. i have no words. other than i am grateful you were blessed with a healthy baby. i can only imagine the pain you must be feeling from this loss along with the joy of celebrating a new life. you will both be truly wonderful parents. both of those girls are so lucky to have had the chance to grow inside you :)

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  113. Words cannot express how sad I am for your loss and the admiration I feel for your expression of both your loss and your gain. You are all in my thoughts and prayers! Congratulations on little Viola! I'm sure she will continue to fill your hearts with joy for all her days!

    Kisses,
    K

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  114. Oh Lauren. I've cried so many tears over your loss and now I'm crying over your beautiful perspective. I love "the bassinet half full." You are an amazing person and Viola is so lucky to have you and Tyler as her parents. I can't imagine what you are experiencing right now. Such joy and pain! Love to all 3 of you. Can't wait to hold baby Viola! She is beautiful just like her Momma!

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  115. Prayers to you all. Congratulations to you on Viola! She will always have an angel looking down on her.

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  116. Lauren & Tyler, I am so sorry for your new families loss and have tears running down my cheeks as I type. Your perspective on Baby B's passing is very inspiring and touching. Viola is a very special girl! I wish you much peace at this wonderful time in your life.

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  117. Lauren, Tyler & Baby V - I have been so worried, which is quite an odd experience when it comes to someone who, by all rights, I don't know at all. But I've come to really feel like I know at least one aspect of you guys - and I cannot imagine the dual emotions of devastation and utter joy.

    Take care of yourself and your little family, and never doubt that the people who love you and those who only know your through the insights you share are thinking about you and sending the best of thoughts and wishes your way. I am so sorry for the loss you've experienced, and at the same time, I'm so happy for you and your little girl. Be well.

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  118. i don't know what to say lauren except that your strength and ability to look on the half-full side of life is so admirable. viola has one amazing mom! she is a little bundle of joy and i hope these new days with her are as beautiful as possible! so much love to you all.

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  119. As twins ourselves, we can't even begin to express how sad we are for you and Tyler and Viola, and how thankful that you and your daughter are safe and sound. Viola will always know that her sister is watching over her and will be a presence in her life. You are all in our prayers and we send you all our best.
    xxoo
    C + C

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  120. I am so sorry for your loss... and congratulations on your beautiful daughter. Sending good vibes from across the pond.

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  121. Lauren, congratulations on beautiful Viola!

    I can tell from your post that you, more than most mothers, recognize the gift you have been given. I have a twin sister, and your post is making me recognize how important she is to me.

    Surround yourself with family, and soak up all things "baby". The early days are a beautiful time. :)

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  122. Lauren, Tyler and Viola - I am so, so, sorry for your loss. Praying hard for all three of you!

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  123. How heartbreaking. God bless you and your family, the new baby and the one in heaven.

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  124. Your loss is unimaginable. I have no words, so I guess I will just say that I am thinking about you and Tyler, praying for you, and thinking that Viola is such a beautiful baby.

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  125. Lauren and Tyler, I have been following your blog for a long time but have never posted a message before. I wish you warm congratulations on your new perfect little girl. I am also so sorry for your loss, and for Viola's loss too. Please know that prayers are being sent to you all the way from Virginia.

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  126. Sorry for your loss. May all your hearts heal quickly.Enjoy that beautiful little one.

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  127. Lauren and Tyler, So many times - since we all knew you were first in the hospital several days ago - has the silence on your social media given me a mixed bag of excited anticipation and get-over-it-they-are-BUSY-parents thoughts. All of us have grown attached to your love story and your adventures as a couple deeply in love, traveling the world together. It is so eloquent that you say the bassinet is half full. You will love your baby girl and grow closer together due to these circumstances. Please know I am saying so many prayers for you both, your beautiful Viola, and your families. This situation is nothing I can relate to, but please know that I am deeply sorry that you all have had this loss. Much love, lots of hugs from me to you all.

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  128. I'm soo sorry for your loss; I hope that time heals this for you.. And congratulations on beautiful Viola. I pray that your family is given strength to endure this.

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  129. Congratulations. Viola is precious.
    Thinking of you and your family in this time of loss.
    It truly is a time of joy and sorrow.
    Wishing you all the best.

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  130. Viola is a beauty! I'm so, so sorry about Baby B. Many blessings and mercies to you guys along the way...

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  131. She is gorgeous and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. I can't even imagine your feelings at your loss.

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  132. Lauren and Tyler - I'm so sorry for the loss of baby B -thinking of you, some babies are just too good for this world - May you find strength at this tough time. And hugest congratulations on the birth of Viola. What a beauty - she is truly blessed to have parents like you. Lauren make sure you take it easy. Loads of love. Rachie xo

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  133. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family for your loss of Baby B. I admire your strength for your perspective during this difficult time.

    Congratulations on your beautiful daughter Viola! Precious!

    Take Care

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  134. What a precious baby girl you have! Congrats to the both of you along with many prayers.

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  135. Congratulations on the birth of Viola, she is truly precious! I am so sorry for your loss--my best friend went through this in June of last year. It was absolutely heartbreaking, but she too came home with a daughter who was born early but healthy and grew stronger every day. She has found so much comfort, overwhelming love, and joy with her that it has helped her through!

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  136. I am so so sorry for your loss and at the same time, congratulations! Viola is beautiful. And I adore her name. My thought and prayers are with you.

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  137. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm happy for you at the same time. Viola is absolutely beautiful. I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts.

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  138. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Viola is beautiful! Congratulations!

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  139. I am so so very sorry for your loss. Your outlook is so beautiful. Congratulations on Viola. She's perfect and wonderful.

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  140. Oh Lauren, your words are so heartfelt, beautiful, and hopeful. Viola is such a beauty and she sure is blessed to have such wonderful parents. I am so very sorry for your loss and pray for you and your family. Sending you long-distance hugs, too! :)

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  141. Viola is extraordinarily lucky to have a momma in possession of such strength and grace as you. Thinking of you & Tyler in this time of unparalleled joy and pain. May the journey forward bring inner healing and clarity.

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  142. Viola is one special baby...one that will undoubtedly always bring joy to your life. I can't even begin to imagine the deep despair of losing a baby, but thank God there is a silver lining here. Sending my love and prayers your way. xo

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  143. Lauren, I am so sorry for your loss, but so happy to see little Viola looking beautiful, strong and absolutely adorable! I am sure Viola will give you all the strength and love you both need to get through this difficult time! I will keep you in my thoughts, always!
    Be good and take care of yourself,
    Kristina x

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  144. Thoughts for you and your family. And congratulations on your beautiful daughter.

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  145. Viola is absolutely BEAUTIFUL...I can only imagine the feeling of loss you are going through right now but Viola will without a doubt bring a smile to your faces! You are in my prayers! XoXo

    Dominique @ ComfyCozyCouture.blogspot.com

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  146. Oh, my heart aches for you after reading this post. So, so bittersweet. You are so blessed to have your sweet Viola with you, but I cannot imagine what your heart must be feeling right now. You, Tyler, and Viola are in my prayers. I hope you are comforted by the knowledge that your other dear one is waiting for you on the other side. Congratulations are certainly in order for your family's expansion, though, and so I send them along with best wishes for the future! God bless!

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  147. Viola is so precious! My heart aches for you and your family. You are handling it with such strength! You are amazing! I know you will get through this, and your sweet Viola will help so much with that. :) Please remember that God only gives us that which we can handle. Sending love and hugs your way!

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  148. Oh my goodness. Congrats on your blessing, but my heart still hearts for you. Wishing you lots and lots strength during this time.

    Hang in there and try to enjoy the beautiful moments.

    xo

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  149. Sending love and prayers and strength your way. Congratulations on your beautiful daughter.

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  150. Like many others, I am sending love and prayers your way. God's plan is always greater than ours! I wish you and your family peace and grace as you adjust to life with your sweet little girl. xo

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  151. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Congrats on your beautiful daughter and my deepest sympathy on your loss. I am a true believer in what is meant to be will be - God will see you through it. God bless you and your beautiful baby. xo

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  152. What a beautiful baby girl Viola is! Congratulations!

    At the same time, I cannot imagine the loss you are experiencing. My sister lost her first born baby boy just a few months ago. Such sweet angels that are up above. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

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  153. Viola is incredibly beautiful. I adore her name!

    I've prayed for you and Tyler today. I will continue to pray as I know this is both a wonderful, yet difficult time. I pray that God gives you comfort, strength and peace. xo

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  154. My heart aches for your loss and yet rejoices with your precious baby! Sometimes we just have to trust that God knows best for we know He is ultimately in control anyway…it still doesn't make it any easier. Take care of yourself and your precious family…don't fret over your readers…they love you and certainly understand. I will be praying for you and your sweet husband and precious baby girl during this time of adjusting…many thanks for sharing your journey.

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  155. From a mother to a mother. No words can express the raw ache of a loss of a child. May you and your family find peace and enjoy your beautiful baby girl. Time heals and know one day you will reunite. Bless you and your family.

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  156. My heart is breaking and also bursting!! Your daughter is so beautiful and I know she will be SO loved. You are a blessing in her life just as she is a blessing in yours. Thank you for sharing your joy and heartache with all of us.
    Blessings.

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  157. i am so sorry to hear this, thinking of you and your fam. viola is beautiful, congratulations.

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  158. Oh my gosh Lauren... chills ran down my spine and tears filled my eyes as I read through this post. I'm so so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers, and all I can do is admire you for your positive outlook. You are an inspiration to women all around you. Your daughter is absolutely perfect.

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  159. Congratulations on a beautiful baby girl. May your heart stay focused on gratitude and filled with so much love at this time. My prayers are with you.

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  160. God bless you and your sweet family, dear one. I had to read your post several times to be sure I was reading it correctly. Though we don't know one another in person, I've been following your pregnancy on the blog, and when I finally understood what your words meant, my heart sank for you and tears filled my eyes. Just know that there is one more mommy out there lifting you up in prayer. Your daughter is gorgeous and her name is fabulous!! Enjoy her!!

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  161. Sending all my love and support from San Francisco. Sweet Baby Viola is beyond precious, those sweet cheeks are utter perfection. Bless you and your new family and this rough but joyous time.

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  162. You are showing what a truly strong, amazing woman you are in the most difficult situation, and those of us lucky enough to be in your life, whether via this blog or in person, are blessed because of it. Viola is lucky to have such a strong role model.

    My heart felt prayers are with you and Tyler. Big big big hugs from Boston.

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  163. I have enjoyed reading your blog for quite a while, but this is the first time I've commented. I just became a mother ten weeks ago, and when I read this post, it brought me to tears. I honestly feel a piece of your loss, and there are no words that can appropriately convey my sympathy. I offer you my congratulations on your beautiful baby girl, and my condolences on her angel sister. I will keep your family in my prayers. Xoxo

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  164. Lauren, I am a frequent reader but have never commented. I am so very sorry for your horrific loss. I pray of supernatural strength for you and your family during this time. Your blog brings so much joy and beauty to the lives of so many. I pray you receive these blessings back a hundredfold during this terrible time.
    Blessings, Sarah Elizabeth

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  165. Ah Lauren - such bitter sweet news! I'm so SO happy for you and Tyler for the birth of Viola... she is perfect and precious beyond words. And my heart aches for the loss of baby B. I'm glad you guys are looking at the positive, at this amazing little life you've now created. I hope as the days and weeks go on you find peace in you loss and joy in your gain. I'll be thinking and praying for you guys here in South Africa. Please let me know if I can do anything to help from my side :)

    Lots of Love, Jenna

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  166. Lauren and Tyler, my heart dropped when I saw the title of this post at work. You and your family (including Baby B) have been in my thoughts all day. I don't know you in person and as many said above, I know that my tears shed over this are nothing to yours, but I am thinking of you and praying for you and sending you love.
    Lauren, you have expressed yourself so beautifully and tenderly in, as you rightly say, one of your darkest moments.
    Viola is a beautiful baby (with a beautiful name) and she is so lucky to have you as her parents. Congratulations on your darling baby girl. I know she is your guiding light through this dark time <3

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  167. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending love to you all.

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  168. How you could write something so poignant after what you have just been through just shows me even more what a wonderful person you are, this must have been a very traumatising few days.
    Sending you much love and welcoming Viola - such a beautiful name.

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  169. You are both in my thoughts and prayers, and welcome to the world Viola. A gorgeous child with gorgeous parents. xx

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  170. Oh Lauren, I have no words...except to say your beautiful family are in my thoughts. You are so brave, and oh my gosh...Viola is just the most perfect little girl!xx

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  171. I'm so sad to hear you only got to bring one of your babies home, but then so happy to hear you did get to take Viola home. When I was pregnant with twins, we were told one would not survive. It was an incredibly difficult time, knowing one of our babies was going to die. In the end, we lost both our little boys when I gave birth at 23 weeks in November. I'd found the TAMBA Bereavement Support Group a great comfort, I'd recommend taking a look if you feel you need it. My thoughts are with you and your family. x

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  172. Viola is the most gorgeous little angel Lauren. I am terribly sorry to read about your loss, but God has still blessed you so much! You are in my thoughts!

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  173. Lauren, your daughter is absolutely beautiful and precious. Congratulations to your family. I have never commented here, but I have followed the story of your pregnancy and I've been wishing you well from Canada throughout your journey to this moment. I am very sad for your loss. Your words show a remarkable peace and spirit and great love. Please know that there are many people all over the world sending you their hope and best wishes for joy and health right now. Treasure these first days (weeks) with Viola and Tyler!

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  174. I am praying for your family. I am so sorry for your loss. Viola is adorable - what a sweet little lady. God is good.

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  175. I've been following your blog for some time now, and wish to convey my deepest condolences for you and your family. What grace you've shown by even being able to write this. God bless your family and your newest bundle of joy, she's beautiful!

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  176. You are truly Blessed...with a little girl...and a completely open heart. Your daughter has a very specially mommy. All the best <3.

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  177. So beautifully written. You and your husband are an inspiration for how you seem to be handling this. God is still good even in the midst of heartache and loss, and your baby girl is so cute and beautiful all at the same time!!

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  178. I am so sorry for your loss. Through tough times God is still there -- Viola is beautiful! I have been following your blog ever since Megan (across the pond) wrote about you. You're an inspiration!

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  179. Lauren & Tyler, your sweet Viola is just perfect. Beautiful! What a little blessing.

    The Knight family is in my prayers. I pray every day for strength and grace, and I feel blessed to have such a role model for both in you today, Lauren. You, and your perspective, are amazing. I know you will stay strong for each other and Viola. Wishing I could pop by your place today with a latte and a jillion hugs... xoxx

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  180. It's no surprise you're handling such a difficult situation with absolute grace and eloquence. Best wishes to you, Tyler, and Viola on the start of your new journey together.

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  181. I am so utterly sorry to hear of your loss. Your words were so moving and demonstrate the depth and strength of your soul. Peace to your family at this time and congratulations on your beautiful baby girl.

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  182. As much as you didn't want to write this post, we didn't want to read this post. Your readers mourn with you and your family during this time. I am praying for you, Tyler, Viola and your families as you start your new life together. This post is a testimony to the kind of person you are and your strength, dignity, grace and outlook are inspirational. I'm sure this will not be an easy journey for you, but hope and pray you feel his spirit and presence with you every step of the way. Viola is a gorgeous gift and she is lucky to be blessed with such an amazing mother.

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  183. I don't know you {yet} and this is the first time I am reading your blog, yet I feel so incredibly touched by you and your words. I am so sorry for your loss but so happy for you at the same time that you have an absolutely beautiful little girl. I am a new{ish} mom of a nearly 6month old and I just know from experience that your heart is going to be bursting with love and joy daily from the many 'moments' you will share with little Viola. I am praying for your family, xxx

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  184. My thoughts are with you. I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
    I am also so happy to welcome your daughter into the world.

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  185. I'm so sorry for your loss Lauren. Your faith and strength is so inspiring though. God can deliver us through these storms and I'm so grateful you have beautiful Viola! Know that we will be praying for you and your sweet family!

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  186. My thoughts are with you, Tyler, Viola and the rest of your families. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. In such a heartbreaking time I know you are blessed, and I can't wait to hear more about precious Viola and your family. xo

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  187. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Viola is your precious miracle from God. I pray that God's presence will give comfort to you and your family at this time and that His healing power will give you the strength you need to enjoy His blessings every day. Viola sure is a cutie pie!

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  188. I am so sorry for your loss, can only imagine how devastating it must be to find your child gone, heartbreaking.. Take your time for posting. It is so stressful trying to grieve while worrying about your surviving twin. God bless.

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  189. Viola is perfect. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl.

    My heart aches for you...my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  190. Tears of joy and tears of pain. Viola is gorgeous! What a blessing she is for you and your families. How brave you are to be so open and share your loss. God bless you, your beautiful family and your special daughters.
    xoxo
    Selena

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  191. I haven't commented before but wanted to let you know that you have another person praying and thinking of you in this time of joy and loss.

    Lindsay

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  192. I am sincerely sorry to hear about the loss of your Baby B, what a heart breaking thing to go through. Going into the hospital with two babies but coming out with one. I love how you're so humble and strong with all of this, you know you're blessed with a beautiful baby girl and as well as a beautiful angel. It saddens me to say I know the pain of losing a child in birth, I lost my son and it still breaks my heart. I hope you will be able to pull through and gain strength from such an experience. Your little Viola is so blessed to have a mother like you, for you will cherish her and love her with all your heart, and that's a true blessing.
    Stay strong for both your precious little girls. oxox

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  193. I am a Neonatal ICU nurse and am all to familiar with how fragile life and babies are. I am amazed at your courage and words you spoke in your blog post. It is my prayer that you and your sweet family find comfort and peace through time. As a mother, I know that babies and children are a gift from God. As my heart breaks for you, it also is full knowing what you are experiencing- being a mommy for the first time. Viola is beautiful. Congratulations!

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  194. Oh, cousin. My heart aches a million heart cries to the Lord for you, Tyler, your parents, and Viola. Sweet Viola! What an inspiration you have been to me throughout this ordeal! What strength, faith, grace, and dignity! I shared with your Mom a bit of an empathetic experience, though pale in comparison! Viola is blessed in her parentage and in her namesake. Precious! Thank you for sharing your heart and your faith. Love you!!

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  195. Oh my heart breaks for you. I can't imagine the difficulty with feeling both the simultaneous joy over your daughter and devastation at the loss of her sister. I will be praying constantly for you and your family.

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  196. Nothing but prayers and love for you and Tyler...and new baby girl Viola! What a beautiful baby girl. Love you dear friend.
    -Jessica Duff

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  197. I found your blog a couple of months ago (and was immediately hooked, btw!), and have never commented, but my heart absolutely breaks for you. I cannot even begin to imagine what you're going through right now, but send many thoughts and prayers your way. And of course many congratulations on your new precious gift.

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  198. iam terribly saddened to hear about your loss - my eyes just welled up with tears. Even tho i do not know you, when i read your posts, i can picture the warm hearted person you are. Love, strenght and prayers to you and your family.

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