On The Road Again: ICELAND (& some tears).

Today's the day.

We are off to Iceland!

Last year, 
we touched down
in a crazy place we had never visited,
with a group of 20 people 
to lead around a place we'd never been...

...and with the new knowledge 
that we had a belly full of babies.

To say we felt a little uneasy is an understatement,
but it was also an incredibly exciting time for us.

We felt like we were on top of the world.

I thought I looked so pregnant here. Ha! 16 weeks pregnant.

This year, we're walking back to the same starting point,
-maybe limping a little, if I'm honest.

It's really hard for Tyler & I to revisit the places and times
that we associate with the hopes & excitement we had
for having two babies.

I can't really explain it...
but in those moments when you remember what happened
-that you had a child that you loved and that she died-
 it feels like getting the wind knocked out of you.

It feels so terrible and so sad.

You just can't even believe that something so bad actually happened...
and after a few minutes,
 you somehow refocus to whatever was in front of you
recompose yourself,
and wipe off the streams of mascara 
that have dried to whatever is that you were holding- baby included.

I guess the good news is:
there could be worse places & jobs to do
when you're feeling low.

We'll take a trip to Iceland as a win
in the midst of this season of heartache...

And I can guarantee that Viola 
will be having the time of her life.

{Thank you, God, for giving her to us.}

So that's a rare, candid peek 
at where we are
and how we are coping.

We feel undeservingly fortunate
and hopeful of the joy in the life surrounding us
as we muddle through a period of heavy grief.

We'll be hitting the ground running
as soon as we touch down.

Make sure you follow along on instagram (username: aspiringkennedy)
and keep up with the crazy adventures.

*all images original to Aspiring Kennedy


  1. You write your thoughts down so beautifully, really, you do. My heart still can't fathom your loss and I hate the grief that you are experiencing. I'll continue to lift you and Tyler up in prayer!

  2. Praying for you in Connecticut, as well.
    Enjoy you time! Introduce Viola to your favorite spots!
    You're a wonderful inspiration, thanks for sharing your heart.

    Manda from Eat Cake

  3. Beautiful post and I think about you guys often! :) Enjoy Iceland!

  4. Love, prayers, and peace are coming your way....

  5. love you guys. Thinking of you always and praying for a wonderful trip back to Iceland. And then praying you move back to the USA so i can snuggle Viola because i really miss her. And i might snuggle you too. if you're lucky.

    love you sweet friend.

  6. What a lovely post. My sister lost a twin too and her son has some brain damage because of the birth but he is such a wonderful young man in so many ways, he even has a job chopping veggies in a restaurant. You trip will be bittersweet indeed.

  7. A beautiful post, in many different ways.

  8. I'm sending good vibes your way. Y'all are so incredibly strong. I will definitely be following along via IG

  9. I was wondering if it would be hard revisiting this place. Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share little bits with your readers and not just burying feelings down deep. Have an amazing time!

  10. Have a wonderful time special friends, and may your hearts grow warmer with each day, and little V won't stop smiling. Special memories to be made this time x

  11. I can only imagine this time in Iceland is bittersweet. Praying the Lord holds you close as you continue to grieve and that you can experience joy even in the midst of sorrow. He truly makes beauty from ashes. Little V is just so precious.

  12. You have such an amazing way with words. I gave birth to my twins a month before you had beautiful Viola (my god, that face is so stinkin cute) and remember sobbing hysterically as I read about your loss. My heart broke in a million pieces for you. I have been in awe of you and your beautifully little family. The grace, strength and love you all live and breathe is truly inspiring. I smile every time I see that little V on IG or see a new blog post from you. May you have an amazing time in Iceland! God bless you all.

  13. I woke up this morning feeling super sorry for myself. Thanks for giving me a little bit of perspective. Praying for you guys as you experience all the high and lows, and remember. Have a fantastic time in Iceland.. and keep this instagram pics coming!

  14. oh Lauren - I can't imagine what you and Tyler are feeling but I bet a lot of your readers can and I'm sure your words give them so much comfort in not being alone. Much love to all.

  15. i love your honesty and i don't know how you do it all with such grace. and viola is going to make everyone in iceland fall in love with her--that girl has charm :)

  16. lauren... man. i wish i could give you a hug. i can't imagine how complicated/weird/sad that is. hoping you're finding the peace and having some fun (your ig pics are insane! i want to go to iceland!).

  17. I'm sending you so much love, long distance. xo

  18. Lauren... I cannot imagine the roller coaster that you two must be going through. So bitter sweet. I'm thinking of you, Tyler and Viola as you adventure through Iceland together. I wish I could hop through my screen and give you a hug! xxx

  19. Hugs to you today! I pray that you will make new, sweet memories in Iceland that will sit alongside and comfort your sadness. I highly recommend a book of essays called "Bittersweet" by Shauna Niequist. God will nourish your soul through Shauna's raw words.

  20. i'm shedding some tears today too. i know all too well the feelings you described about going back to places that remind you of your loss. and how there are still some days where the pain is simply overwhelming, for no good reason. i'm thankful for your sweet, smiling Viola and the joy she brings to you and Tyler. sending you hugs from NYC...

  21. I am so beyond sorry for your loss, I just can't even imagine. Sending you lots of positive thoughts!!!

  22. Thoughts, prayers, & love for you & the whole family, Lauren.

  23. I really enjoyed coming to your blog. This information was nice and useful. http://www.iphone5-reviews.org.uk

  24. You and your family have been through so much. I love reading your blog to see all of the wonderful adventures and fantastic places you go BUT I am also deeply touched by honest posts like this that really show who you are as a family. Thank you for being so brave to share them. You and your family are in my thoughts and I can not even begin to imagine how it must feel

  25. You two are some of the most amazing people I know. Constantly thinking of you both!

  26. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now. Hopefully this trip will bring the three of you happier memories to look back on some day. Thinking of all of you!

  27. I know you haven't written much about what you all are going through, but thank you for sharing such an intimate and raw emotion with us. "You just can't even believe that something so bad actually happened..." so, so true. So many stages of grief...the hardest being where you are at...wondering if you will ever feel like your old self again. I don't know if you can ever return to who you were before, but you will certainly get to a place where you feel like you can breathe again...a place where you sigh and say "I'm going to be ok." You'll get there. Until then, we continue to pray for your family and also praise Him for the blessing of Viola amidst such a tragedy.


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