Moving Right Along.

It's me again,
crawling out from behind the
slew of pre-written travel posts.

I have so much to talk about,
but find myself tapping on my keyboard
with a loss at where to start...

So I'll just ramble a bit
and see where we end up.

{I can hear you ask yourself how that changes this post from any other. Touche.}


This past weekend,
we had a service for our baby girl.

It was one month, to the day, after their birthday.

I know, that's quite a bit later than normal
to have a service...
but, honestly, our heads weren't with it 
to plan anything before then
and we wanted to wait 
for our parents to be there with us.

We were so lucky to find ourselves
surrounded by such sweet friends
and being reminded that, in light of our loss,
God is still so merciful.

A few days later,
we both are doing pretty good.

We are starting to get back into work...
the flat is getting cleaner....
and, hey, I actually took a bath tonight.

It feels like life is starting to move on!

But in the midst of daily routines
and the renewal of better personal hygiene,
 I still find myself really, really sad at times.

I'm not sure how to explain
how I can miss someone 
that I never really knew...
but I do.

And I probably will for a long time to come.

As someone who lives confidently and happily,
I'm not really sure what to do with that prospect.

The good news is,
even though those moments will be here...
moments like this will be much more frequent.

And I'm so glad that they are.

Getting to have a baby is such an incredible gift...
and getting to share it with Tyler makes it all the better.

We feel a loss,
but, in spite of it all,
know that we are incredibly blessed.


Again, I feel like I can't tell you enough:

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

*all images via Instagram. Username: aspiringkennedy 


  1. I love love loved your "ramblings" in this post. Beautiful words spoken here and I'm so happy you had friends and family and lots of love surrounding you. I am again so sorry you had to experience all of this. Truly I am. I don't have children yet-I can only imagine the sadness and tears. Prayers for you and your sweet family.

    You guys are so adorable! Your sweet baby is precious.

  2. So beautiful and eloquent, Lauren. It cannot be easy to write these words, but yet you do with grace and wisdom beyond your years.

    Viola is a lucky little girl to have you and Tyler as her parents. Your courage and strength will serve her well throughout her life.

    Blessings to all of you...xoxo

  3. Really beautiful. Thanks for sharing it all with us.

  4. Oh, Lauren. My thoughts and prayers have still been with you all constantly. I am so glad you have had family and friends by your side these last few weeks. Your Viola is just beautiful.. so sweet and delicate. The perfect little lady already!

  5. It is such a strange place to be in, longing for one baby and at the same time cherishing the other. You will need a lot of time to process it all and grieve. Just when you think it is over, it might not be yet. And that's ok. You don't have to put on a brave face for us girl. Everyone here has already seen your true colors and they are brighter than anyone's out there. You are doing a great job as a momma but just because you have still been blessed with baby V, that doesn't mean it isn't ok to hurt. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. We are all thinking about you. :)

  6. you guys look so great. i can't imagine how you must feel, still mourning but moving on to take care of your newborn, but i do know she is lucky to have you.

  7. And I sit here, tapping on my keyboard as well. What are the right words to say when someone has endured such a tragic and unexpected loss? There are no right words. I don't think there is any normal way to process and grieve this can only wake up each morning and embrace God's comfort and mercy. One day at a time, girl. Heck, one hour at a time. And if you are having a day or moment that is harder than the one before...when you have no words left to pray, just ask God to listen to your heart...He doesn't need words anyway. And rest in the knowledge that others are fervently praying for your family when you don't feel like you can pray anymore.
    How beautiful your family is both inside and out. Sending you some love!!

  8. Lauren & Tyler,
    In time, all the sorrow you feel will be replaced with joy.
    Honoring your loss, your heavy hearts need healing. If it were me, I would have one full blown pity party. I think my friends and family would help me. Blog friends too will help you. It's not easy or fair to swallow what happened but there is something bigger for both of you.
    If I can say in my Mother's kind voice, You all look so good and healthy. Which in turn always made me think, "Am I fat?"
    I hope we your readers and fans, can stop in, check on your hearts, make you smile and tell you we love you and heck, we have never even met you.
    You rock.
    Sending smiles and bubbly bath salts to you.

  9. I love all of Baby V's adorable faces - the girl is so photogenic and knows how to pose ;)

    I think sometimes that's all we can do - move right along.

  10. The love and warmth of your family comes through in these photographs. I am sorry for your loss, but also rejoice in the happiness that little Viola brings you!
    XO, Rachel
    With Love, Rachel

  11. I send you a very big hug!!
    You're going to have a little angel, all for you!!
    And time will help you, I lost my daddy when I was 15...and the time that passes by, has helped me to be fine and happy again (because I know he still is by my side everyday)!
    A huge kiss for that little baby girl!!

  12. Times heals all wounds but as I've said, this is a loss to grieve as any other. You may not have *known* her, but you 'knew' her and that is very real. Slowly you will continue to heal, and quickly you will continue to expel love for your little girl. All of which are incredibly important for continuing on as a family. You seem to be doing a wonderful job as a new parent, despite being tested. My thoughts remain with you.

  13. You all are such an adorable little fam! Viola is beautiful. She looks so teeny in your arms xx

  14. lauren, little viola is going to have such a beautiful and lucky life, knowing that she has not only an angel looking out for her, but two incredible parents! enjoy all of these "first" moments with her, and in the meantime, know that we're all here for you! lots of love. :)

  15. Viola is adorable! You all look beautiful!
    And I cannot express how I felt when I read about your loss! I mean, I am only reading your blog, and still, it caught me so sad.. Nevertheless, I deeply think that happiness is what we are here for and I am sure your little baby girl also only wants you to be happy!


  16. My sister lost a twin at birth and 20 years on the family still talk about that twin, he is still remembered.
    Lovely to see a 'me' post.

  17. Your sweet baby is just beautiful! You have a beautiful family!

  18. Viola is and will always be perhaps the most loved baby in the world. You guys are such wonderful people parents because you have an infinite amount of love. I can only imagine your sadness, yet your joy and happiness for Viola and her sister will always be felt and known.

  19. You look great, your little Viola is so beautiful, and I'm so happy to hear that you are settling into your new life as a mamma.
    Keep up the incredible work, and keep allowing yourself time for those baths : )

  20. you have so much strength and grace - little Viola is so blessed! much love to you all.

  21. You are an amazing lady. Glad to hear that things are settling back to normal in some ways. Enjoy your little Viola, she is absolutely precious. xo

  22. I still can't even imagine what you're going through, so proud of your strength! Through all the dark, your new life looks beautiful! xo

  23. Praying for you and your family! Cannot imagine what you are going through. Your strength already is such an inspiration. Viola is blessed to have such wonderful parents. Much much love!

  24. She continues to just bring love into all of our hearts. A beautiful life, even if sometimes it feels bittersweet. So many blessings to have the love and support of family and friends.

  25. I have been a quiet follower for some time now and my heart goes out to you and your family. Your daughter is beyond blessed to have such amazing parents. You've been in my thoughts and prayers and I know we've never met but I know your precious family will come through this all stronger and closer than you could have ever imagined. xoxo

  26. Thinking of you. My mother's twin did not make it and I once asked my grandmother how hard it must have been. She told me that everyday it gets a little easier and that as my mother grew, with every smile and milestone, her heart healed a little more. She said you will never forget the child you loved and lost, and the dreams you had for them, but as your other children grow, you feel tremendous gratitude for the moments you share with the ones that are there.

  27. Ditto everything above. Also, I couldn't be prouder of you, lovey.

  28. Those pictures are so very happy & I can see a bit of little Viola's personality shining through them already! You and Tyler are so very brave and I am so happy that the two of you are able to have some kind of peace amidst all of the heartbreak you were made to suffer. Better days will come - those lovely pictures are examples of that! :)

  29. Continuing to pray for you, lady

  30. You look fantastic and your family of three is just the cutest. I can only imagine that others who have gone through what you have would say that it is totally normal to feel the sadness you feel all while being joyful for what you do have now. Perhaps it is okay, good even, that the experience has altered you and changed you. God works in such hard to understand but wonderful ways.

  31. Just know prayers are still being said for you. :) I can only imagine how hard days can be for you both. I'm glad you have Viola to snuggle tight on those days.

  32. I've been thinking about you guys recently. That's the beauty of blogging, isn't it? You "meet" people who you come to treat as friends. :) How lucky Violet is to have her whole life ahead with you as her mom.

    And how lucky Baby is that she got to spend a pretty exciting time in your life with you. We always expect that we'll teach our children, but we certainly learn from them too. I can only imagine how much you've learned from Baby.

    Be well, Lauren!

  33. i can't imagine what you are going through. baby viola is so adorable. the picture of tyler kissing her is so incredibly cute!

  34. I'm sure you will always miss her- it is a natural reaction to such a huge thing to have happen to you. But as you said originally, having Viola must be at least a slight balm to the pain. But then, I can't even imagine, so I should probably stop trying. Glad you are finding a sort of normality, even if it is slightly different to what you expected. Love xx

  35. Love and prayers to you! You are an inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing your feelings. I hope I can model your strength through what is a bit of a trying time for me.

  36. Awww, what sweet pictures! I love the first one of Viola bonding with Tyler. You are so, so blessed, but you wouldn't be a mom (or a human) without missing your other little one. Much love and many hugs to you and yours. Can't wait to read more "ramblings"! :)

  37. I've been thinking of you guys so much! Glad to hear its getting easier day by day.

  38. Wonderful pictures. Your daughter is a lucky girl and definitely has a little angel looking after her. :)

  39. You all are such a beautiful family, I'm so glad things are getting easier and that you are surrounded by love through this tough time for your family. <3 <3

  40. Beautiful post and beautiful family. I don't know what it's like, but even though you didn't know her, she was a part of you for 9 months. I imagine that she will always be a part of you. I'm still sending lots of prayers and warm thoughts from cold Missouri!

  41. Hi Lauren, I truly can't even imagine what you and your family have been going through but I am so so so sorry for your loss. Just know that thousands of miles away there are people sending you and your family positive thoughts. Viola is so beautiful and I am so happy you have her.

  42. your grace is such an example i need to learn from.

    glad you are doing ok :)

  43. I think of you often (and comment/post never)...sending my love from Texas.

  44. My love, I think of you often...and the 'right' words always fail me, but know you are being lifted up, cried for, and rejoiced with by many, including this girl. I only wish you weren't so far away so I could hug you up, and whisk you away to a Asian foot massage place. :)

  45. Sorry to hear of your loss. Viola looks so very precious, and what a beautiful name (I played the instrument for 13 years so I'm a little biased :) !

  46. I just read this one. Lauren, you are one of the most positive people I know. That's what's so wonderful about you. You don't dwell on complaining or gossip or anything negative. But, mourning the loss of your daughter is normal and good. I am so happy for you and Tyler for having such a cute little bundle to lift you out of your grief. Keeping you in my prayers! Thanks for sharing all the adorable pics of V!


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